100+ Funny Birthday Wishes, Messages And Quotes

Funny Birthday Wishes: Looking for funny birthday wishes, quotes, jokes, and images to put a smile on someone’s face on their birthday? Whether it’s for him or for her, a friend or a colleague, or maybe even a belated birthday wish, we’ve got you covered with our huge selection of humorous birthday wishes.

Funny Birthday Wishes

Some funny Birthday wishes and messages you can use in a funny birthday card message to friends or family on their birthday.

• I believe you forgot my birthday present last year, so now I’m returning the favor. Happy Birthday!
• A wise man once said, “Forget about your past, you cannot change it”. I’d like to add: “Forget about your present, I didn’t get you one”.
• Happy Birthday to a [Mom/Dad] who’s smart and funny and good-looking, from a [daughter/son] who inherited all your best qualities.
• It’s OK to light the candles on your birthday cake now; I’ve already alerted the fire department.
• You know, they say that age is really all in the mind. The key is to prevent it from trickling down into your body.
• Congratulations on being born a really long time ago.
• You’re how old?! Better take that cake outdoors to light the candles! Have a very happy birthday.
• Congratulations, you’ve finally reached the wonder years… wonder where your car is parked? Wonder where you left your phone? Wonder where your glasses are? Wonder what day it is?
• When I have a birthday I take the day off. But when my wife has a birthday, she takes a year or two off.
  ~ Unknown.
• Hope you will not get sad over the number of candles on your cake. Many happy returns of the day, my love.
• You are just as annoying as you were on day one. Stay the same and have a happy birthday!
• Happy birthday, love. I thought of getting you the best present ever. Sadly, I’m too big to fit in the gift box.
• You have officially gotten past the teenage years. It’s time to be mature and stop expecting birthday gifts from people. Happy Birthday!
• Happy birthday, don’t be sad. At least you are not as old as you are going to be the next year. Be happy thinking about that!
• You have been here for a long time, perhaps since the age of the cave people. No wonder why you are so backdated. Happy Birthday!
• It’s a very good day to identify all the liars around you. Don’t get fooled by the one that tells you are still young and beautiful. Happy Birthday
• Whatever doesn’t kill you makes you older and uglier. Yes, that’s life, my dear. Don’t be fooled by the illusions. Happy Birthday!
• You might be getting bigger, but sure as hell, your intelligence isn’t. Enjoy the birthday anyway.
• Please get a funfetti cake for your birthday. Since you are no fun, at least the cake should be.
• Happy birthday. The older you’re getting, the more of a child you’re becoming. Grow up now, will you?
• Happy birthday, dear. Smile! Because with your increasing age, your teeth might be gone sooner than you think.
• I wish some people would stop wasting things. Just like you. You are wasting space on the earth and certainly wasting the time of others. Happy Birthday!

Funny Birthday Messages

• Another delicious cake is going to be wasted today for the birthday of a useless person whose existence in this world makes no difference at all. Happy Birthday to that person!
• Today, anyone not mentioning in their wishes that you have gotten old and ugly is a liar. Anyway, Happy Birthday dear, you are aging beautifully each year!
• Even if I was smoking cracks, I would still see the sign of aging on your face. How could anyone not notice that? Happy Birthday, dear but you have to accept the truth!
• Have you ever thought what a stupid douchebag you were when we were kids? Guess what, you haven’t changed at all. Happy Birthday!
• If you are good at something, don’t do it for free. And if you are good at nothing, just shut up and don’t ask for a gift. Happy Birthday!
• A guy texts you on your phone, wishes you a Happy Birthday, and the next day, you think he’s gonna buy you some gifts? No, he is the one asking for a treat. Happy Birthday!
• The saddest truth of life is that some people get older without being wiser. You remind me of those unfortunate people. Happy Birthday!
• Happy birthday to someone too sweeter than sugar and too spicy than Mexican chili.

Short Funny Birthday Wishes

• Older? Definitely. Wiser? …mmm debatable. Happy Birthday!
• Happy birthday! You don’t look a day older than dirt! ❤
• Your birthday is the perfect excuse to get drunk on a weekday. Bottoms up!
• Smart, good-looking, and funny! But enough about me. Happy birthday!
• A true friend remembers your birthday, but not your age.
• Happy birthday. I hope your day is as nice as your butt ????
• Pst, don’t grow up! It’s a trap. Happy birthday! 
• I’d give you my last chicken nugget. That’s really saying something. Happy Birthday!
• You might be prehistoric, but at least you’re not extinct! Happy birthday!
• Happy birthday! Super glad you were born. 
• It’s so great that my crazy really vibes with your weird. Happy birthday!
• If you were my Uber driver, I’d totally give you five stars. Happy birthday!
• I smell old people! Oh, wait no that’s just you. Happy birthday! 
• Wow, look at you growing up and having birthdays! An adult looks good on you????
• May your birthday cake be moist, and may no one use that word to describe it.
• Happy birthday to a real-life Insta baddie ????
• You may not be able to fold a fitted sheet, but otherwise, you’re pretty cool. Happy birthday!
• Name a better birthday duo. I’ll wait. In the meantime, happy birthday!
• May you live so long your wrinkles have wrinkles. Happy birthday!

 

Funny Birthday Wishes for Friends

• Friends like you make me feel younger and more handsome. I wish you have two birthdays a year so you get older twice as fast as me. Happy Birthday!
• Age is just a number, and so are restaurant bills! Happy birthday, do remember to buy me food!
• A star was born on this day. I mean, you were too. But I’m referring to a celebrity.
• The night is still young, but you, my friend, aren’t anymore. Let’s still party, though!
• I’m pretty sure you are missing your childhood so much. That’s exactly what people do when they get old. Happy Birthday!
• Happy birthday to one classy lady from another. Rock your birthday girl.
• You’ll look great even when you have no teeth just like you are doing pretty well even without a brain. Happy Birthday my friend!
• Some people are old, some are beautiful and some are both. You are not old enough to be called ‘old’ and certainly not good-looking enough to be called ‘beautiful. Happy Birthday!

Funny Birthday Wishes for Sister

• I know you would have been so happy if I said, “you are aging so beautifully”. But sadly. Lying is not one of my good qualities. Happy Birthday!
• Enjoy your birthday this year to the fullest because who knows, after a few years, you might feel ashamed of your true age. Happy Birthday!
• Do you know why you are my favorite sister? Because you are dumb and you don’t even know it. Happy Birthday my dear!
• Happy Birthday, Sister. As a kid, you were a lioness. But with the rising age, you’re becoming a lazy cat.
• Today’s the day mom found you in a dustbin. You’ve grown up, but the smell just won’t go away. Happy Birthday to mom’s second favorite child.
• Birthday wishes nowadays are so full of lies. They may make you smile but the truth is you are not more beautiful than you were last year. Happy Birthday!
• Do you know what amuses me the most? Seeing that you are unable to hide your age even with this heavy makeup. Happy Birthday, loser!
• One more year has gone from your life and it seems like you are on a mission to be the fattest girl in the world. Good luck with that. Happy Birthday!

Funny Birthday Wishes for Brother

• You can pretend to be old when you are dead. Till then, you are just a little kid who wants to grow up someday. Happy Birthday, baby brother!
• Happy Birthday dear brother. I hope you will remain just as annoying as now even when you are 100 years old.
• Happy Birthday to the boy who was found on the road and picked up by my parents. Wish you all the good things in life, brother!
• This is the day you arrived to steal my share of mom and dad’s love. Happy birthday, brother.
• The only good your birth has brought is your dumbness. It has been entertaining me for years!
• You are the epitome of stupidity and a living legend for annoying people. Bad luck for me that you are my brother. Happy Birthday!
• You know your life is a mess when your stupidity is increasing disproportionally to your age. That’s you brother. Happy Birthday!
• Life can be so unfair at times. I don’t know what bad I did in life to deserve such an annoying brother like you. Happy Birthday!

Funny Birthday Wishes for Him

• Wish you many more years of tolerating my tantrums. Happy birthday, honey.
• No matter how old you are, I will always give you the bigger share of the cake! Happy birthday to you, darling!
• Happy birthday, baby. Don’t fear getting old; being with an enticing lady like me, your youth is going to last much longer than expected!
• Happy birthday to you, love. To celebrate your increasing age, let’s increase your cash transaction too! Let’s go shopping.
• The wrinkles on your face make me feel so relieved because you’ve got no options other than me anymore!

Funny Birthday Wishes for Her

• No matter how much you mature, I’m always going to snuggle you like a baby. Happy birthday, my girl.
• I thought of getting you as many flowers as your age, but we don’t have enough space to keep so many flowers at home.
• I didn’t get you a birthday cake; because no cake can nearly be as sweet as you. Or maybe, I forgot to get one.
• Wish you a happy birthday, my princess. May your weight be disproportionate to your age.
• Happy birthday, baby. I hope to see you wearing the outfit you were born in; someday soon!

Funny Birthday Messages for Colleagues

• Happy birthday, my friend from work. Let’s keep making fun of the bosses behind their backs.
• I have to appreciate the way you try to act like a young man. You must be having a busy time coloring your hair black every day. Happy Birthday!
• Let’s have a night out in honor of your birthday. Let’s drink and party all night long. And of course, let’s not hope we end up at the hospital tomorrow. Happy Birthday!
• Happy birthday, workmate! Good going on your way to becoming the oldest man in the office.
• Maybe use a portion of this month’s salary to fill my stomach, please? Happy Birthday, Colleague!
• Age is just like a badge of honor. The older you are, the more respected you are in the office. Happy Birthday to you. Wish you all the best!
• We decided to buy a bog, sweet birthday cake for you. Although we are not sure if you are allowed to eat cake at this age. Happy Birthday!
• No one remains young forever. But you should have stayed young for at least a couple of years, at least for me. Happy Birthday!

Funny Happy Birthday Quotes

A selection of funny Happy Birthday quotes you can use to wish someone a very happy birthday and poke fun at their age on their birthday. Use them as part of a funny birthday card message, or even as a Facebook caption.

• Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that people who have the most live the longest! (But it has also been scientifically proven that too many will kill you.)
• Don’t let aging get you down… it’s too hard to get back up again!
• Middle age… when “happy hour” is a nap!
• If gray hair is a sign of wisdom, then you’re a genius!
• Technically you’re not 50. You’re only $49.95, plus tax!
• They say you lose your mind as you grow older… what they don’t tell you is that you won’t miss it much!
• Age doesn’t make you forgetful: having too many stupid things to remember makes you forgetful!
• Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
  ~ Chili Davis
• Age is strictly a case of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.
  ~ Jack Benny
• Youth is a gift of nature but age is a work of art.
  ~ Stanislaw Lec
• Age is not important unless you’re a cheese.
  ~ Helen Hayes

Funny Belated Happy Birthday Wishes

• Oh no! Did you forget their birthday? Apologize for one of these funny belated happy birthday messages. I’m sure it will get you back in their good books…
• I’m so sorry I forgot about your birthday. The good news is that I also forgot your age. Happy Belated Birthday!
• I’m so sorry for sending you belated birthday wishes. Honestly, I didn’t think you would live this long. Happy Birthday!
• I promise this card isn’t late. It is intentionally arriving after your birthday because I think you deserve a whole birth month. Happy Birth-month!
• I know you think this card is a few days late. It’s actually worse than that. This is your card from 2010 that I only just got around to sending. Happy Belated Birthday!
• Happy Birthday! Don’t think of this as a late birthday card. Consider it a very early one for next year. Here’s wishing you a wonderful year ahead!

Funny Happy Birthday Jokes

• A collection of happy birthday funny jokes you can send to your friends and family on their birthdays.
• How does NASA organize a birthday party? They planet.

• Why did the teddy bear refuse a slice of birthday cake? He was already stuffed.

• You know you’re getting old when you can’t walk past a bathroom without thinking, “I may as well pee while I’m here.”
• The good thing about having a bad memory is that jokes can be funny more than once.
• The good thing about having a bad memory is that jokes can be funny more than once.
• Did you hear about the [insert age] year old who was still cool? Yeah, me neither.
• Do you know why candles are always put on top of birthday cakes?
  Because it’s far too difficult to put them on the bottom.
• You know you’re old when you turn down the lights to be economical instead of romantic.
• You know you’re old when getting lucky means a short wait in the doctor’s office.
• You know you’re old when you have a party and the neighbors don’t even realize.
• Did you know that [insert date] is a date when no famous men or women have ever been born? …..None, only babies!

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